Hello, my name is Jay Manahan.
Most of you don't know me, but for those who do, you may recognize me as the author of 'How to Deserve a Content Marketing Middle-Finger' (google it), or as the Hip Outsourcing Exec (google it), or for my upcoming book, a memoir, titled 'Offsnoring: My Jaded Life in the Boring World of Outsourcing.'
Like the names of most Filipinos, Jay is not my real name. It is just my nickname. My real name is Fernan Dayson Facundo Raul Fernando Jose Acebedo Rivas Protacio Matthew McConaughey N. Manahan.
And due to inflexible IT standards, my corporate email address will not be too intuitive as well: firstname.lastname@example.org.
So you may email me instead at my personal email address, which after you've seen me, is certainly going to be more descriptive: email@example.com.
You may also search for me on Tinder using that handle.
Unlike most of you, though, I am not an Human Resource practitioner. I've never been trained in human capital management, or in recruitment, or in organizational development.
But don't worry, I do share one credential with the other expert speakers in this conference: I am human. And I am a human resource.
Studies have shown that over 70 percent of conference speakers are human. This chart proves it. And you may go ahead, take a selfie with this slide in the background, and tweet about it. Matter of fact, that's what I'm going to do right now.
Yeah, so over 70 percent of conference speakers are human. And that is certainly true for this conference. The other 30 percent of speakers would be those you would step out from to take a cigarette break. I believe this conference intentionally booked these robotic speakers for strategic reasons.
In any case, I'm here on behalf of my employer, FormerEmployer, probably the only HR support provider primarily focused on the outsourcing and offshoring space.
Though FormerEmployer did require me to state this disclaimer before I get into the meat and potatoes of my presentation:
"The beliefs, opinions, and attempts at humor that I will display throughout this presentation do not represent the views of the management and board of FormerEmployer. As always, should I fuck this presentation up, FormerEmployer will disavow any knowledge of my actions."
And my gift to you is my photogenic back: