When someone brought up in a recent conversation, "poor this-and-that kinda-familiar-sounding-name, she didn't get her cabinet appointment approved," I nodded and said, "yeah, yeah," as if I had an idea what he's talking about.

Truth is, I had absolutely no clue. And I couldn't find a rat's ass to give, even if I'd spent an entire day at the rodent booty mall.

Truth is, I don't watch the news. I find it mind-numbingly uninteresting. I get bored watching just five seconds about something that happened today, which was the same thing that happened yesterday, the same thing the year before, in similar vain as five years prior, and essentially the same way decades previous to that.

I don't care for the minutiae of who said what and why so-and-so did or didn't do whatever. It's fucking irrelevant to my life when I run my daily errands, eat my next meal, do my next task, or enjoy my next hour.

The same news-following, self-righteous asshole who mouths his opinions about the latest political, economic, or cultural ho-hummery is the same douchebag who parks his car in the middle of the road, talks too loud in the train, throws his cigarette butts anywhere, and worships once a week while he cheats on his wife or accepts kickbacks Monday to Friday.

He's the same nimrod who languidly makes mouse-clicks and hits keystrokes at turtle speed, waiting for quitting time and payday.

Meantime, I consciously try never to inconvenience anyone else unnecessarily.

Foreigners know about my country more than I do. I used to feel embarassed about that. Now, most of the time, I just pretend to agree so I won't be bothered any longer. What gets fringe people out of my life sooner guides my behavior.

Your political news are moronic and unimportant to me. Your social happenings pale in comparison to my guiding principle: "try not to make life difficult for anyone."

I don't believe in government. I have a disdain for authority. And I detest laws that I have to comply with. I have a very low regard for your trivial current events.

Nothing will change. Nothing will get done.

If I seem to have nothing to say when you bring up current events, that's because there are far more important things in my life that very second. Like taking my one good dump for that day. So please, leave me alone.